Today's Office


brought to you in part by:

"No Illegitimate Children" - Did you have children you couldn't afford, too early, and with an unreliable partner?  Tough shit.  You don't get to enjoy this.  "No Illegitimate Children" - it's the least you can do for yourself and your kids.

Also in part by:

"High Taxes" - Whoa!?  A 50% tax rate if I work hard?  No thanks, I'll just go minimalism and get by on $15,000 instead.  High Taxes - when you want the producers to quit.

Also by:

"HR Chicks" - Nothing says, "we say our employees are our best assets, but we really don't mean it because we're going to let 25 year old ditzes do the first screening interviews" than having HR interview your applicants.  Ensure you drive the most productive and intelligent employees into a location-independent career so they can smoke cigars while working.  "HR Chicks" - they're dumb, they don't like "The Maths," and drive all real talent away, but hey, at least you meet diversity quotas!

And finally:

"Our Great Insurance Plan" - When your employer offers you a "Great Insurance Plan" that is 4 times what you can get for a catastrophic plan on your own, you'll realize they're having your youth and health subsidize all their old, fat, and lazy employees.  "Our Great Insurance Plan" - another way to fuck over the younger generation!
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