She said, "Cappy, you're not going to believe this! I was at the doctor's office and ran into one of your fans." She then regaled me with the tale of randomly meeting a young 23 year old man who was a regular reader of me and the rest of the Manosphere. However, while he was an avid reader, he was basically an academian. A theorist. He "knew" what he had to do, but still had problems approaching girls. Matter of fact, the words my JAITF used was "afraid of girls." I told her to have him contact me and that I'd solve his problem for a small fee.
Rewind 18 years ago.
A female friend of mine had a crush on a male friend of mine. I did what I could to set the two up, but despite many rendezvous, he never asked her out. For the next six months she verbally pined about him to me. Wondering how to get him to ask her out. To the point I got sick of it and told her, rather bluntlly, that she was pissing away more calories of energy worrying about it and would have had a better life had she just point blank asked him out. She took my advice to heart, was about to call him up and ask him out, but THEN CRIED IN THE FEAR AND ANTICIPATION, and bailed at the last minute.
Fastforward back to today.
Millions, nay, HUNDREDS of millions of western women claim they want to diet. And hundreds of millions of western women attempt new diets every year. But nearly 95% of them fail, invariably going back to eating shit and using their .000004 mile "power walk" or "I used the stairs" as an excuse to stuff their faces with icing-laden cupcakes. They only end up like the fan my JAITF met or the female friend of mine back from college - failures knowing what they have to do, but somehow never having the gall to do it.
So let me explain what is happening here amongst all three, because while we can all stand here and ridicule them, you, me, and everybody else have this "want to, but seemingly can't" hypocrisy about us.
Understand that in the case of my "fan" my JAITF met, it wasn't that he was intimidated by asking that one girl out at the bar.
Understand in the case of my friend back in college, it wasn't the she feared rejection from my male friend.
And understand in the case of most fat western women, it isn't that they feared they wouldn't lose weight.
It boils down to the "Net Present Value" of effort.
"Net Present Value" or "NPV" is a financial concept that takes a string of payments in the future and asks "what would be the value of all those payments in the future if they were converted into a single payment today?"
So for example a mortgage. You have to make monthly payments for 30 years. Well, considering inflation, interest rates, cost of borrowing, etc., what would the "single payment equivalent" of those payments be today?
But we can take this financial concept and apply it to the psychological world. And when we do we make some great realizations that can benefit us all. Because when you ask
the noob kid to start approaching girls
the fat woman to lose weight, or
my friend to finally ask the guy out
you are not REALLY asking the
noob kid to ask out that ONE girl, or
that fat woman to forego ONE meal, or
my friend to ask that ONE guy out
you are asking them to change their behavior FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. You are asking them to essentially take on a part time job they never wanted, because human nature is to be lazy.
So for example, when you tell a fat woman to lose weight, you aren't asking her to refuse that ONE cupcake. You're asking her to refuse ALL cupcakes into the future AND demanding she take on what is a vertiable part time job of working out everyday FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.
And when you tell that fearful 23 year old kid who is "afraid of girls," you aren't saying, "approach that ONE girl and suffer the rejection," you are saying, "You must COMMIT yourself to a life of rejection, dismay, and wasted labor attempting to get girls."
And that is why the "Net Present Value" of effort is such a deterrent. Because when you're asking people to make life changes
be it weight
approaching members of the opposite sex
becoming educated
physical or mental improvement
you aren't asking them to "tweek" something, you're demanding they dedicate a significant percentage of their free time, their free will, and their conscious life to achieve the goals they want.
It is here I can appreciate and feel a bit of empathy for our overweight women, our timid men, or our basement dwelling nerf-herders. They are expending very little effort and energy. They are minimalists in the sense they are willing to forego the demands and desires society places upon them, so they can live a VERY simple and existent life. But, human psychology and darwinism being what it is, it can't just let that poor soul be. It still needs to foist natural, sexual, achievement, and agency desires on humans, and so they are torn.
This is why my female friend was crying at the prospect of approaching a man.
This is why women get so emotionally upset if you dare to point out men just don't like fat chicks.
This is why a man will talk shit about approaching, but rarely do, and when they do, take personal umbrage when shot down.
The trick or the solution to this crippling and pre-programmed psychology is a simple one:
Realize if you don't make these changes, you WILL forever be condemned to failure.
Do I like lifting weights for an hour every odd day, and running 6 miles every even?
No.
Does any guy like approaching women, opening their mouths, and hoping something witty comes out in the hopes they might get laid in the long run?
No.
And do women (let alone ANYBODY) like passing up the great and awesome food that is sure to tempt us this Christmas?
No.
But if you don't, and constantly succumb to the immediate desires and fail to achieve delayed gratification, you will forever be:
that fat overweight woman nobody wants to fuck
the nerd who sits in his mother's basement and never gets laid
or the addict/alcoholic that never says no and dies early because of liver failure
In short, you must realize it was never your choice to begin with. You need to commit to these part time jobs. You need to commit to the effort to stay in shape, suffer rejection, and put yourself out there. The only other option is not to participate and wonder, dream, and opine what life would have been life if you had. And that life of regret is the worst one you can possibly live.
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